"You put your efforts into having mediocre relationships with tons of people instead of building deep & genuine relationships with a select few"
First things first: Thank you for being honest with your thoughts.
I was hoping that failin.gs would be a place where friends could leave their honest thoughts about any short-comings I may have. Well, that is exactly what that post contains.
My goal is to not hide from criticism of people around me but to, at the very least, be aware of it. Anyhow, I felt like I should respond directly to it. Here ya go:
First of all, the criticism is fair but is it accurate?
The fact is, we yearn for deep genuine connections as opposed to having a long list of people with whom we call "friends". Ask popular celebrities, politicians or artists who have millions of fans yet can't find many real authentic connections with people. Many of them end up having depression or drug problems (or they end up finding some wisdom/enlightenment from their situation). It's something worth noting.
However, is it possible to do both? Do you have to sacrifice the quality of connections when you decide to have more in quantity? Can you have a large circle of friends but also have deep genuine connections with people close to you?
Absolutely. It's an unequivocal yes, in my opinion.
Look, there are people who are in my life right now with whom I want to get to know even better and to build a deep relationship with. Seriously. Some of these people probably don't even know, but I want to hang out with them more, talk about life and all that shit.
But the fact is, I don't feel a lack in that area in my life. There isn't a void or unhappiness in that department. There are enough genuine connections with enough people that I am satisfied. It's the truth.
So it begs the question: what is the poster of this opinion getting at? Is there something else that might lie at the heart of the issue?
Is it that the author of this quote feels like I have not made an effort to keep up the relationship? Maybe.
Does he/she feel like I am not as happy as I could be because of said reason? I'm as happy as I've ever been, life is good. So I can't see that being it.
Does he/she feel like I treat people as just another person and not uniquely? I don't feel like that's the case, but I really just don't know.
While it's easy to read and understand the "failing", I don't see how building even deeper connections with fewer people is going to improve my life. It just doesn't click in my head.
Although it may not be easy to tell, I try to value everyone in my life for each individual trait they bring to the table. I may not agree with everyone and their actions but I still love them all the same. So if you ever have something you want to talk to me about, my door is always open. Even if it's something that I would not like to hear, I'd still like my friends to tell me. Period. So if you are reading this, then you are probably my friend, so this applies to you. And I certainly mean it.
The whole point of this is that I am a big dork and I take this stuff rather serious (as you can see). As hard as it is (initially) to read something like that post, I appreciate it more than words can say.
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