Not physical pain (that's fucking weird
haha) but the mental and emotional pain that comes with growing up
and REALLY realizing that you are responsible for yourself at the end
of the day.
This process is a universal one and we
all have to go through it at different points in our lives.
The problem is this; are you going to
live in the pain or are you going to avoid it?
Living in the pain means acknowledging
it for what it is. It means not personalizing it. It means not
wallowing in, but wading in it.
The opposite is avoidance. The pain
causes you to drink, eat or watch TV excessively. Stimulation in all
it's forms can keep you from having to deal with this real
pain......until it doesn't anymore. Maybe I can even pretend that
there really isn't a problem at all. Self-deception works. Until it
doesn't.
Real world example; I avoided regularly
flossing for a long time.
I would floss here and there but not
nearly as much as I should. Some people can get away with flossing
less but I certainly cannot because I have some sort of weird genetic
condition where my gums will wear away over time.
The last dentist checkup was an
alarming one as their routine procedures produced lots of bleeding
and decent amounts of pain. After wards, the dentist sat with me and
told me the grotesque things that will happen over time if I continue
to avoid flossing regularly.
I sat there like a child who hadn't
done his homework. I was ashamed and could think of all the excuses
in the world but knew that I was the problem.
It was painful to hold myself
accountable. It was painful to get a reality check on myself. I am
not the disciplined person I thought I was. I was letting things
slip.
And I waded in the pain. It
made me think. It made me get my shit together (flossing regularly
as of right now).
This is a few orders of magnitude lower
than some of the most painful areas of life. For those whose health
is at risk because of obesity, they know all too well of the very
acute pain it brings. To accurately pinpoint where you are at means
you have to hold yourself accountable. To be held accountable means
you will be faced with the fact that you aren't quite the person you
thought you were.
But it's the only way to move forward.
Here's the thing....
...I am not one for wishy-washy
motivation quotes or “Go get'em” speeches. I'm more of a
practical approach type of guy.
So when I say that there is hope in
light of pain it is simply this; once you face the pain, it
dissolves away.
Instead of pain, you will feel a
refreshing clarity that can bring you to where you need to go.
This sounds incredibly wishy-washy but
it's simply been the truth for me. When I realized that I was
getting fat I was honest with myself. I didn't get mad or feel bad
(maybe I did a little) but I said “this is the situation, where do
I go from here?”
It was hard to admit that I slipped. I
held myself in high regard up until that point. But I got a reality
check and moved on.
Facing the pain is a powerful concept
to grasp. But it is no magic pill.
Life is fucking hard. It is really
tough. Bad things happen. There are always setbacks. People will
deceive you. In other words, this isn't going to solve your problems
immediately.
It is just something that can get the
gears moving in the right direction.
So when we accept pain and let it run
it's course, it doesn't mean your life will dramatically improve.
That doesn't make sense. But it will give you a starting place.
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