Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Pain is Good

I've come to really appreciate pain at this point in my life.

Not physical pain (that's fucking weird haha) but the mental and emotional pain that comes with growing up and REALLY realizing that you are responsible for yourself at the end of the day.

This process is a universal one and we all have to go through it at different points in our lives.

The problem is this; are you going to live in the pain or are you going to avoid it?

Living in the pain means acknowledging it for what it is. It means not personalizing it. It means not wallowing in, but wading in it.

The opposite is avoidance. The pain causes you to drink, eat or watch TV excessively. Stimulation in all it's forms can keep you from having to deal with this real pain......until it doesn't anymore. Maybe I can even pretend that there really isn't a problem at all. Self-deception works. Until it doesn't.

Real world example; I avoided regularly flossing for a long time.

I would floss here and there but not nearly as much as I should. Some people can get away with flossing less but I certainly cannot because I have some sort of weird genetic condition where my gums will wear away over time.

The last dentist checkup was an alarming one as their routine procedures produced lots of bleeding and decent amounts of pain. After wards, the dentist sat with me and told me the grotesque things that will happen over time if I continue to avoid flossing regularly.

I sat there like a child who hadn't done his homework. I was ashamed and could think of all the excuses in the world but knew that I was the problem.

It was painful to hold myself accountable. It was painful to get a reality check on myself. I am not the disciplined person I thought I was. I was letting things slip.

 And I waded in the pain. It made me think. It made me get my shit together (flossing regularly as of right now).

This is a few orders of magnitude lower than some of the most painful areas of life. For those whose health is at risk because of obesity, they know all too well of the very acute pain it brings. To accurately pinpoint where you are at means you have to hold yourself accountable. To be held accountable means you will be faced with the fact that you aren't quite the person you thought you were.

But it's the only way to move forward.

Here's the thing....

...I am not one for wishy-washy motivation quotes or “Go get'em” speeches. I'm more of a practical approach type of guy.

So when I say that there is hope in light of pain it is simply this; once you face the pain, it dissolves away.

Instead of pain, you will feel a refreshing clarity that can bring you to where you need to go.

This sounds incredibly wishy-washy but it's simply been the truth for me. When I realized that I was getting fat I was honest with myself. I didn't get mad or feel bad (maybe I did a little) but I said “this is the situation, where do I go from here?”

It was hard to admit that I slipped. I held myself in high regard up until that point. But I got a reality check and moved on.

Facing the pain is a powerful concept to grasp. But it is no magic pill.



Life is fucking hard. It is really tough. Bad things happen. There are always setbacks. People will deceive you. In other words, this isn't going to solve your problems immediately.

It is just something that can get the gears moving in the right direction.

So when we accept pain and let it run it's course, it doesn't mean your life will dramatically improve. That doesn't make sense. But it will give you a starting place.

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