Be Like Water

Ok so I have to admit, I am in to Zen and Eastern philosophical type teachings. I'm not sure what that means, but I basically read a lot about it and aspire to be more Zen-like in my life.

Why? Because it's fucking awesome, that's why.

So I can't help but share a nugget of wisdom that I think really is powerful and yet so simple.

The phrase I'm talking about?

“Be Like Water”

Yes, the simple statement “be like water” holds so much truth that it blows my freakin' mind. I can only imagine how seemingly stupid and simple it can be on the surface. So, with pun intended, let's dive right in.

THE COOLNESS OF WATER

Take the actual substance of water, with it's simple chemical makeup of one oxygen and two hydrogen atoms, and remember it's important qualities. It is a universal solvent, relatively moderate freezing and boiling points, the fact that it is necessary for life on earth and it has a comparitively low viscosity (making it flowing quickly down a river). Basically, it's good to remember that water is one pretty sweet molecule, to say the least.

Now imagine a river, it can be your favorite river if you'd like, and think of the water flowing through it. Imagine how effortlessly and smoothly it flows over rocks and through the landscape. It takes the path of least resistance through the terrain. Because water simply “is”, it follows the basic rules of gravity.

So what the hell does that have to do with anything?

AS A MINDSET

The whole concept of being like water is more about your mental head-space than anything else. Seeing as water is not rigid, neither should your mind be. Water does not resist what is in front of it and neither should humans.

Essentially, not resisting things as they are is the key idea.

The easiest example would be to take your daily commute or drive. If you have extensible experience in driving, you know that you eventually will get stuck behind Grandma or have some idiot on your ass. These occurences are inevitable, that is just the way things are. This is the situation right in front of you.

So what happens in this situation? You get mad. You are upset because the Grandma should know better than to drive so slow. Maybe the fact that old people are driving just pisses you off. The idiot behind you is clearly in the wrong, and somehow you will telepathically change his behavior by being upset. You are mad because you have a different idea of how things should be.

Basically the way things are is not compatible at all with the way things should be (at least in our heads) and that friction causes a lot of anxiety and anger. Substitute driving for an annoying neighbor, lazy co-worker, bad service at a restaurant and you can see that all the situations are fundamentally no different.

ACCEPT WHAT IS AND MOVE FORWARD

When we encounter these situations and feel the anger or anxiety, it's important to remember that it's a good time to practice acceptance. Accepting that this is the challenge presented is a simple shift in thinking that doesn't take willpower or anything special, it is just looking at Grandma in front of you without any negative emotions and moving from there.

It means you don't have to go through the arguments in your head of “how wrong this lady is” or “why old people shouldn't be driving” or “why this happens to you ever day” or whatever silly arguments you have in your head that you are right and the situation that is in front of you is wrong.

To continually have those arguments in your head is a complete waste of energy and, chances are, a generally unhealthy way to go around your short time on earth. Who wants to go around their entire life being bitter that things aren't going the way it should be according to them? Not me. I'm guessing not you either.

THEN MOVE FORWARD

So when we talk about being like water, it's not that you should just do what someone else tells you to do or somehow ignore that Granny is slow. Accept that Grandma can't find the gas pedal and find a good time to pass her. Or if you can't pass her, use the opportunity to enjoy the beautiful weather, the song on the radio, or take a few deep breaths to practice being in the moment. Don't resist the moment, take what is in front of you and make the best of it.

Many times where I am stuck behind Grandma, I have found it useful to take a second to remember that this is a great opportunity to practice patience. Or maybe it's a great time to practice focus. It really doesn't matter. All I know is that I want to spend as little time in my life being upset, anxious or angry and that seems the best way to go about it.

THE CONTINUAL PROCESS OF LEARNING

However, many times I have found myself getting extremely upset in both examples, even though I am a supposedly “enlightened” one who knows how to “be like water”. Usually it comes in the form of something I am not used to experiencing. For example, I work in retail and am used to a certain level of disrespect or general rudeness from customers and have learned to let it go and not let it affect my mental state.

But from time to time someone will come in and just really surprise me with a dickish comment or attitude. Sometimes I get upset and sometimes I remember to view this as just another lesson to practice patience and acceptance. But I am certainly not perfect and have not “mastered” being like water. That is not the point.

To be more accepting is something you practice constantly to the day you die and while you will definitely get better at it, it is useless to attempt to master it. It's way cooler to mess up and laugh at the fact that you get mad over such trivial things.

KEEP IT SIMPLE

Don't over think this whole thing. It's not meant to be taken super seriously or even call out other people on their “resistance to the moment”. That would be dumb. The whole idea here is that getting all worked up over really trivial things (like traffic) is foolish. It's not worth it to get upset over it, yet we all find ourselves doing it. To remind yourself to be like water is simply looking at things through a different paradigm, one that I have found to be much more useful. I hope you can find it enlightening as well.