“I Wish Things Were Different”

I recently lost my job.

My employer decided to close it doors and just like that I was a member of the unemployed.

It's so fascinating to really examine the thoughts that run through my head.

“Why me?”

“Why do bad things happen to me?”

“Why can't things ever work out for me?”

“I wish things were easier”

For anybody who's ever lost their job or family member or large sums of money probably know intimately of what I'm speaking of.

It's self-pity. It's wallowing. It's questioning yourself.

It's normal. No reason to feel bad about it. But it's the truth.

I catch myself thinking like this and it repulses me.

Do I really want things to be easier? Do I really want everything to just “work out”? Do I really wish things were different?

NO.

Things are exactly how they should be and the only thing I wish would change is how I feel about the situation. Instead of wishing that things were different, I wish that this little sappy moany whining crying bitch that lives inside of me would stop hoping that things would be easier.

Seriously. Inside all of us lives a little sappy moany whining crying bitch that yearns for a world without bad people, bad events, death and losing. When they happen our bitch-self feels good about pointing it's finger at an “insane” world.

But the world isn't insane. We  are.

Everything is exactly how it's supposed to be.

I am in this situation because of the choices I've made in the past. I'm in a tight position right now because I haven't been diligently saving money or looking for a better job for the last couples months. That's really it.

It's the laws of the universe. If you eat bad food and sit around you will get fat. If you don't save money up for an emergency, an emergency will happen and you will be fucked. If you stop paying your bills the lights will eventually get shut off.

These are just consequences of our actions plain and simple.

I think what I'm trying to say is this: don't wish for things to be different. Just accept the situation as it is.

If it's a messed up situation then do whatever course of action needs to be taken. Stick up for yourself. Move on. Say your goodbyes. Leave. Stay. Do whatever.

But don't be mad that the world doesn't work out. It just does what it does. Trying to make it any other way is insane.