I call it the “Fade to Black”
fallacy.
At the end of nearly every movie the
football team wins, the guy gets the girl and James Bond saves the
world. Almost immediately, the screen fades to black and we all
leave feeling good.
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| "Riding off into the sunset..." |
Leaving on a high note after the
culmination of the story leaves the audience to believe that one day
they will ride off into the sunset too, once they finally get the
money or the status or whatever. If only our big problem is solved
can we finally be at peace. The dream is to get something “handled”
so we don't have to spend time and energy on it anymore.
The thing is, reaching a goal is not
the end because life always goes on.
After you (or your team) win the Super
Bowl, the initial high reverts back to whatever it was before the
victory. Not saying that the immense pride is ever lost but the
“elated feeling” eventually goes away. The next season
eventually starts and you have to prove yourself again.
Let's be honest, winning the Super Bowl
will make you happy. It'd be pretty friggin' awesome. But
just how long does that little piece of self-esteem last? How long
does it take to go back to the previous state of mind? I'm willing
to bet pretty quickly.
THE PERVERTED FALLACY
The perverted fallacy is that we'll be
happy in the future, once we finally get what want. Do
whatever it takes, the thinking goes, and it will all be worth it in
the end.
Unfortunately, the present moment is
all there ever is. No one can live outside of this very moment. Any
projection into that future day is just a movie in the head. It's
NOT REAL.
The priority should be to feel good and
happy right now. And it should be an urgent priority at that.
Living day after day in the mind-state
of future goals only conditions the brain to hurry through each day
as quickly as possible. Just check it off the list as one day closer
to that party next week. One less day to that possible promotion.
One less day to retirement. One less day until death.
It seems harmless until you consider
that our brains are like freaking sponges and soak up whatever we
give to it. By being in this mind-state for years and years, I
truly believe that people condition their brain become bitter and
decrepit. They look back and are mad that the false promise didn't
work. Reaching their goal never materialized true happiness.
THE COLD TRUTH
No matter what goal it is that is
realized, whether it's becoming a billionaire or a mega celebrity,
the salvation will always be a bar of soap slipping out of grasp.
The money would certainly provide for a better lifestyle but riding
around in a helicopter or living in a mansion doesn't fill the empty
cup inside most of us.
Even a future event, like an awesome
party next week, will ultimately be a let-down because it will end.
And then real life comes back. On Monday you go back to work. The
party will only then be a memory, a story in the head.
 |
| The party always ends |
To make “being happy” and
“fulfilled” a priority is tough. It's completely vague. Where
do you even start? I'm pretty sure humans have been trying to figure
it out since the discovery of language. It's not an easy answer.
I say, instead of trying to find
self-esteem, it may just be better to know what doesn't work.
Looking to the future to bring us
peace? That just isn't it.
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